Friday, 8 January 2016

New Year Fitness Fails

And so, that's it, Christmas has been and gone.

Now for the New Year, which is when you are supposed to make resolutions about the things you want to change in the coming months.  

I never make resolutions.

But that's not strictly true.  I never make resolutions apart from that same one every year.  The one that everyone makes after they've eaten too many mince pies and scoffed the kids' selection boxes.

I must get fit and lose weight.

Every year I have a new idea on how I'm going to achieve this and every year I fail.  I have made a catalogue of diety disasters over the years, convinced that each one would change things, but none of them have ever worked.  I wonder why I bother.

In my 20s, before children:

The Plan - Buy the latest fad diet book, a celeb fitness DVD to add the the other 12 in the cupboard, maybe do a detox (everyone is on about detoxing, so it must be easy and quick).  Splash out on a Slendertone (flat and firm in 4 weeks you say?  How many can I strap around myself at once?), and last but not least buy all the gym gear and then join an exclusive and expensive gym on a complete whim (can we afford it?  I don't know but who cares?  We are going to be fit, thin gym goers in a matter of weeks!).

Essentially I was going to spend myself thin.

The Reality - This never worked.  Instead I ended up skint, hungry (the diet book would be gathering dust by 4th Jan at the latest), and knee deep in footballers and their wives while I pretended to get my money's worth from the gym membership I was tied into for the next 12 months.

While trying for a baby:

The Plan - More dieting (bleurgh), take all the vitamins, give up booze (boo!) and finally make use of that gym membership.  Must take some time to be totally fit enough to conceive.

The Reality - Oops, too late, pregnant already... (well it was the year 2000 - that New Year was particularly good as I recall).  Pile on 2st during the first 20 weeks of pregnancy.  Bollocks. #iateallthepies

In my 30s, after children:

The Plan - once the Christmas chocs are all gone I'm going to start walking everywhere with the buggy, stop snacking between meals and eat three sensible meals a day.  Oh, and when I go for coffee with mum friends I will only have black coffee and will definitely not eat any of the chocolate hobnobs on offer. Also, no bath time wine any more (that's the children's bath time, my wine).

The Reality - No sleep, the kids have been tag teaming me all night and I'm so knackered.  Let's just stay at home today and watch Cbeebies.  Pass the chocolate hobnobs will you?  Wash them down with some wine. Err, how many propoints is that? *wobbles post-baby belly*

All the cool gear - this year will be the year, won't it?

In my 40s:

The Plan - I had no plan. In fact, as I approached my 40s I had done no exercise for years.  Also no dieting.  I was fat and unfit.  So I thought I'd take up running.  After all I'd seen a lot of other school gate mums doing it, how hard could it be?

The Reality - Running is really hard to keep up.  But, I'm still going running nearly a year on from when I started.  I am still not thin.  I am thinner, but this doesn't really matter because I am comfortable with myself.  Finally.

As I start yet another year of secret diet and fitness resolutions I am sure I'll keep it up, get better even.  I'm not sure what's changed really.  Maybe I just needed to be kinder to myself, more realistic.

I still keep thinking I'm going to trip myself up (not actually, although have you ever tried running on an icy pavement?  #bambionice), but I've got loads of cool running gear now, so this year will be the year. Definitely.

*Opens left over Christmas Bombay mix*

Maybe... ; )


  1. I'm dreadful when it comes to resolutions and fitness. The only time I ever really successfully lost weight was after my 2nd baby in the run up to our wedding.

    1. You know I think its totally the wrong time of year to start any fitness regime. It's cold and dark and everyone is fed up anyway - why add to the misery?

  2. I've been running for two years now. Like you I'm not sure I'm thinner but it really makes me feel better!

    1. Yes, it definitely makes me feel better. I'm so glad I've started now (even if I can't seem to stop eating otherwise!).

  3. Be kinder to yourself, you look amazing! And you are already doing much more than those of us sat on our bums watching the tv!

    1. Ahhh, thanks! I suppose I am although I also sit on my bum watching tv too much as well! ;)


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