Thursday, 12 November 2015

Ten unwritten rules of the school run

Standing in the school playground for the umpteenth time, waiting for one of my children to prize themselves away from the climbing frame so that we could go home (the other two were helpfully quite eager to get home too for a change), I was reminded how the school run never really changes.

Yes, OK very clever, but can we GO HOME now?

No matter how much you love loathe endure the daily process of dropping off and picking up children from school, there is always a little bit of it that gets on your nerves, or is that just me?

It's like Groundhog Day.  I can practically predict everything before I get inside the gate these days.  Here are ten inevitabilities that having do do the school run brings.

  1. It always rains at 3.00 pm.  Always.  If you take an umbrella or waterproof coat, it will be wall to wall sunshine.
  2. If one child comes out of school on time, then the other/s will be late.  You will wait there for hours for them and it will rain.
  3. If you happen to be on foot then something heavy/a junk model will need to be carried home, by you.  The kids will skip home and you will be knackered, sweating and struggling with PE kits/musical instruments/all the bags.  FML.
  4. You will have forgotten the baking money/school trip money that you promised the teacher in the morning.  Again. #memorylikeasieve
  5. If your kids are tired and grumpy at the end of the school day, everyone else's will be perfectly behaved.  And, if you are even remotely on the edge of losing it with your grumpy child/children, everyone will see and tut.  #alleyesonyou
  6. You can never park even vaguely close to the school gate. How do other parents always get the best spaces?  Do they camp out overnight or something?
  7. If your child has done baking that day then the baked goods will be eaten by the time you get home.  I have never tasted any of their baking yet.  This is probably a good thing, but it would be nice to be given the choice.
  8. When the teacher decides to let the class out on time then you will always be late.  And when you are on time?  The teacher will hold them back for no reason.  The latter will only ever happen in the middle of winter when the outside temperature is about minus two.
  9. The PTA will accost unsuspecting parents for money by setting up stalls selling stuff in the playground (ice lollies in summer, tuck shop the rest of the time).  It's a trap! (OK, I know it's for a good cause but still)  No parent can avoid the whining of a child that doesn't get a lolly when all their friends have one.  And woe betide the mum with no money in her purse. It's always me.
  10. A successfully completed school run always results in one child realising that they have lost or left something at school on your eventual return home.  This can be anything from a toy (which you told them not to take into school in the first place), a brand new school jumper or their pants (truth, it happened to us once).

No matter how pretty I try to make it look, doing the school run is still tedious

I have unwittingly signed myself up to several more years of this frustration by the very nature of having had more children.  I never learn.  But would it be too much to ask for a patio heater and a branch of Costa in the school grounds this winter, to cheer me a little on the endless wait to get my children back?


  1. So true! hahaha! I only have a couple more years of the school run and when I'm done I think I will actually miss it. x

    1. I have five! Five! I am literally wishing them away at the moment. Don't think I'll miss all of the above at all. xx


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