Friday, 16 October 2015

Teenagers, are they toddlers in disguise?

As it's been the teen boy's birthday this week I've been marvelling at how much he's grown up and how he's changed over the years.

Or, has he?

Although he is bigger lots bigger he really is not all that different to his toddler self.

Much as I endured enjoyed the toddler years, I had assumed that they were long gone for us, but maybe not.

Because, when you think about it, teens and toddlers are really kind of the same, apart from the big feet...

1.  They are both good at getting you out of bed in the morning.

The toddler uses the ear piercing scream "Is it breakfast?  Can I watch TV?" on repeat, which is really bloody annoying quite effective at getting a grown adult out of bed at the crack of dawn at the best of times.

The teen?  Teens employ a slightly different and yet equally efficient method.  They simply put on deodorant (possibly this is the only time, seeing as in our house they don't wear it when I request them to), and what is worse, they put it on in clouds.  Nothing is guaranteed to get a parent out of bed gasping for breath and rubbing their eyes faster than a fog of Impulse Vanilla or Lynx Apollo engulfing the air around them.  Trust me.  I've been there.

Can't... breathe...

2.  Tantrums

Yes toddlers have tantrums, this is not news.  They can be because of anything from the wrong kind of cup to not getting sweets when they want.  All really bonkers, trivial, ridiculous stuff.

A classic trivial toddler tantrum

Teens are also prone to tantrums over really trivial things such as you looking at them in the wrong way, or buying the wrong crisps for their packed lunch *sigh* (but you can at least point out how ridiculous they are being).

A teen tantrum with added parental sarcasm

3.  Not wearing coats

Toddlers hate coats and refuse to wear them.

Teens hate coats and refuse to wear them.

No point in arguing with either, it's a waste of breath.

4.  Choosing ridiculous outfits

Remember the days when your toddler insisted on wearing their pants on their head or going out in their winter scarf and gloves in the middle of summer?

There was no reasoning with them, was there?

With teens it's the same. #DenimHotpantsInDecemberFFS

5.  Putting their shoes on quickly

Just as the toddler finds putting a pair of Clarks velcro closure shoes on to be almost impossible within the space of a couple of minutes of being asked, the teen also finds it equally tricky to fasten a pair of Vans up without it taking an age I'm not even joking, they should teach them this stuff in High School.

Your chances of getting out of the house swiftly with either, are minimal to non-existent.

6.  Taking your stuff

Toddlers:  "Borrow" your make-up and smear it over themselves/the walls/carpet/bed clothes.

Teens:  "Borrow" your make-up and you never see it again.

Not sure which is worse.

7.  Unintelligible language

Toddlers sweet ways with word pronunciation are a joy and also sometimes very funny, but it can be a job to decode what they mean at times.  Some of my favourites over the years were Tickly Tackly (Tagliatelle), Gary (Gravy), Bapple (Apple), you get the idea.  They are always inventing funny new words for things.

Similarly, teens develop their own language which only their kind can understand. Pied, Bae, Swag yes I know I've been here before but I still have no idea what they mean.  Urban dictionary doesn't even cover half of this because they change it so often.  It is really confusing for the average parent.

See?  A teen is just like a toddler only trapped in a bigger smellier body.

If you are reading this as a parent to a toddler and thinking, 'Oh no, blog lady! Toddlers are bad enough, I don't know how you cope?  I'm so unprepared for the teen years'.

Then all I'll say is this, don't worry about it, you're already pretty much there.

People say that children grow and change so quickly over the years.  That you blink and you miss their childhood it goes that fast.

While that might be true some of the time, there are other things that never really change.

*bangs head on desk*



  1. This is all so true. Apparently I am BAE. Occasionally. I have no idea what this is. :) x

    1. It is! I have never been Bae. This may be a good or a bad thing...

  2. hahaha! I have a teen! This is all so true! lol
    I actually think toddlers are easier to deal with. x

    1. Maybe, although teens don't tend to have meltdowns in supermarkets in the same way...;)

  3. At least you don't have to go out at 9pm to pick up the toddler from a friend's house, and drop all the others off on your way home xx can tell i've just got in : )

    1. Hehe, that's true! Although, toddler groups and soft play... *shudder* ;)

  4. Brilliant post. I"m so glad I have all this to look forward to again! Mich x

    1. Thanks :) I've got another three to get through this phase too *cries into gin* ;)


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