Wednesday, 29 October 2014

Twin Mum Bingo

Once I'd ditched the double buggy I thought that other peoples' fascination with my twins would wane a little.  But, they've now started school.  Having a new class means lots of new people, which in turn means a whole lot of "interesting" comments and attention directed at me and mine.  As a parent of twins you can either love these type of comments or hate them.  Personally?  Well, initially I found them quite amusing but these days the amount of times I get asked the same things over and over?

Is.  Really.  Getting.  On.  My.  Nerves.

It sometimes makes me die a little bit inside.

*Grits teeth*

So, to pass the time at school pick up I often play a little game to keep myself entertained in the playground.  Rather unoriginally, let's call it


I've included below a handy infographic/bingo card with the most pertinent phrases and questions I get asked and below that the answers I would really like to give (but would obviously never do).

So, eyes down for a full house...

You've got your hands full - Yes, yes I have but rather full than empty eh?

Are you a childminder? - No, if I was a childminder I would at least be getting paid for this sh*t.

Double Trouble! - Oh hahaha!  Thank you for that highly amusing and original comment, I've never heard it before. Also, "Were they on BOGOF?" - No, but I wish you would...

Rather you than me - Yes, I'd rather it was me than you too.

Are they identical? - Ummmm, only one of them has a penis, what do you think?

Were they IVF? - None of your frigging business, shall we discuss your fertility too?  Alternatively sometimes people ask "Are they natural?" - Well, no they are made entirely from elastoplast and twigs.

Which one is the good/bad one? - At what?

How do you cope? - As far as I'm aware I don't get a choice, I have to!

Are they twins? - No they are triplets - oh wait I've lost one! Or,  No I found this one abandoned in the carpet department in John Lewis and thought I'd take them home too.

It is utterly stunning how direct some people can be without realising isn't it?

For the record, I love being a twin mum.  I am also quite used to being the butt of people's jokes as a result, but I really do wish that sometimes they could think of something more positive to say.

In fact, I have a suggestion...

If you know a twin mum or dad then next time you see them tell them that twins are amazing or just that they are doing a really good job.  They will probably love you for it - it will definitely make them smile.  Properly.  Not even through gritted teeth or politeness.

And, definitely not because they are playing twin mum bingo.

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