Thursday, 2 October 2014

10 signs that my children have become Minecraft addicts

Minecraft.  I am trapped.  In a world of little blocks.


I have tried to embrace it, I really have, but it is just all nonsense to me.

The kids though?  Well, they love it.  It is cool to them.  They talk about it all the time.  When they aren't arguing over who destroyed whose world when playing the actual game, they are watching YouTube videos of other people playing it.  I have no idea why this is so great but it is.

I suppose I should feel grateful that with a big family and a spread of ages there is something that they all like to do together but the trouble is?  It.  Is.  Taking.  Over.  My.  Life.

Everything revolves around that game.  They are addicts.  This is how I know.

1. I know who Stampy Longnose is.

2. My four year old looks at the piles of clothes in the teen's bedroom and shouts "Yay, clothes parkour!" while jumping around on them.

3. I secretly watch YouTube over my children's shoulders to check it is appropriate and soon realise that the only thing they ever watch is the latest Stampy video.

4.  I was secretly pleased when Stampy and Squid were interviewed on breakfast telly - it was the first time I'd been able to watch a grown up tv channel without children complaining in 14 years!

5. My children know the properties of and can accurately describe how to build a water retaining wall.  I was impressed by this until I realised that they learnt it all from Minecraft.

6. They have taught me how to sing "To the Nether" to the tune of "Moves like Jagger".  I actually enjoy this and frequently burst into song unprompted.

7. I have heard the background music on "creative mode" so often that I find it quite soothing.  I just lie back and close my eyes - it's cheaper than a day at a spa (and probably lasts about as long).

8.  My smallest child knows how to spell the word leather.  This is quite impressive until they admit that they only know this because they remember it from Minecraft.

9.  I bought a Raspberry Pi thinking that it was educational and was a bit dismayed when I realised that the children only want to use it for the free Minecraft software.

10.  I once correctly answered a question on The Chase - the answer was Ocelot and I only knew what one of those is because they feature in Minecraft. (I should add that everyone else got the question wrong)

There are probably a lot more that ten.  I just can't be arsed to type them all.

So what am I to do?  Will there ever be an end to this?

I can imagine several years from now Minecraft themed weddings, grandchildren called Steve.  Crikey!  When I pop my clogs what if they bury me in a Minecraft block shaped coffin?

Or, it might just simply go away, like all crazes do.  I mean, look at Gogo Crazy Bones and Zuzu Hamsters - they all ended up in the bin eventually.

Thank god.

DD1's bedroom, a world of little blocks - would you dust this?  No.  Me neither.


  1. I thought we were over it but it has recently returned, there is no escape!

    1. No, no, no! Don't tell me this! *sticks fingers in ears* la, la, la, la, la! ;)

  2. Pippa you are definitely more of a pro at this Minecraft thing than I am - but I have no doubt that I will get there. Emily (11) is obsessed. "Stampy this, Stampy that" and iballisticsquid. She sits and tries to explain things to me and I have no clue so I smile and nod. However, I did watch one video of Stampy's with her and I sort-of liked it. I think, although the obsession is annoying, there are much worse things that they could be getting into, so it's OK with me :) x

    1. One child? Fine. But five of them? At once in your living room with xBox live as well? Nightmare!!! It's no wonder I've turned to gin ;) (Although yes you are right, worse things and all that...)


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