Tuesday, 10 June 2014

So long, farewell - 10 reasons why I won't miss Pre-School

I can remember the first time DS1 went to Pre-School and I was torn between feeling anxious to leave him and being fairly elated at the thought of having a few hours to myself for once.  Obviously with five children to my name I've been through the whole Pre-School phase a few times now and each time I've been less anxious and more grateful of its existence.  Last week the twins started back at their Pre-School for the final half term and suddenly it hit me.  In seven weeks there will be no more Pre-School.  The end of an era.  I'm not sad about it.  I'm happy.  The kids have mostly enjoyed their time there but me?  There are so many things that I won't miss.

Doing the school run in the middle of the day.  We go, I drop them off and then by the time I've got home again and got stuck into a juicy convo on twitter a big pile of ironing its time to go and pick them up again.  It's like doing a perpetual school run.  In the rain.  Some days it's actually easier to have them at home I'm sure.

Filling out loads of forms.  Why are there so many?  Every term there are forms for the free 15 hour element for each child, then there's forms for taking and using photos and for going out of school and all sorts of other seemingly ordinary things.  Why can't there be just one at the start of the year?  Don't even get me started on the accident book.

Looking excited at all the interesting Mother's Day/ Easter/ Valentine's gifts.  And having to eat some of them.  Yes I pretend they are delightful, but once you've seen one badly iced biscuit you've seen them all. Trust me on this.  And buy some Ovex (because you never know where else those fingers have been...).

No, I didn't eat these...

Having approx 247 pictures of a blue scribble on the notice board every week.  Every week.  Can they not encourage some form of recognisable drawing?

An egg?  A rock?  Just a load of scribbles.

Ruining their nice clothes and shoes.  Send your kids in something old you say?  All of their clothes are old but some are really rather nice, having been handed down from child to child - I do not enjoy trying to remove marker pen from them and I inwardly wince when we've bought new shoes and they come home with the inevitable scuff on the first day of wearing.  What are they doing in that place, mountaineering?

Perfect for a trip up Ben Nevis

Attending Christmas open days/concerts/plays.  I love hearing my children sing, who doesn't?  It is extra cute when they are small, but having attended lots of Pre-School concerts I can tell you categorically that the only people you will ever hear singing are the overly cheery staff as the kids kind of mumble in the background while shaking a set of bells or some maracas.  If you ever have to endure this along with weak lukewarm tea (it can't be hot on account of the children) while sitting on one of those extra teeny chairs then you have my full sympathy.

DD1 looks cute here but I am crying, not because she's cute but because of
the stupidly small chair and the fact that I can no longer feel my legs.*

The overwhelming smell of disinfectant as the door opens.  Yes, I know why there's a smell of disinfectant and my kids have on occasion had their fair share of accidents while at Pre-School, but can no one open a window?  I can practically feel my brain cells dieing as I inhale.

Waiting for the door to open.  Also on the subject of doors, I am so looking forward to not having to spend hours of my day waiting for the gates to be unlocked and the doors to open.  I know its for the children's safety, but I feel like I'm entering a prison every time, and the waiting, the endless waiting... (Nobody there owns a watch).

Parking.  Oh how I love the creative parking by some of the parents in the middle of the day.  Parking at the bus stop, double parking and parking so close to the yellow zig zag that you can barely see where it ends.  I realise that small people have a very limited capacity for walking distance but that doesn't mean that you need to park next to the gate (or in a resident's driveway).  Add a few late for work dinner ladies into the mix and we're at gridlock.

Being told off by my own children.  "No mummy, at Pre-School we have crackers and apple and raisins for snack, not breadsticks". *Sigh*. Nothing beats being told off by your child for not doing things the way that Pre-School does - which of course is the right way.  Speaking of snacks, I'm also blaming the Pre-School staff for introducing my children to prawn crackers during Chinese New Year.  I cannot now open a bag without having to share it with them.  They no longer believe that they are special crisps that taste of vegetables/are for grown ups only.  Honestly, that place spoils all my fun.

So bye bye Pre-School, it's been fun an experience.  Time to bring on the endless school trips, school dinner menus and PTA fund raisers - I can hardly wait.

*  I should mention that I've edited the other kid's faces out here so that their parents don't hunt me down for reproducing pictures of their offspring on the internet.  Pre-Schools don't generally make children wear grey plates over their faces during concerts as far as I'm aware.


  1. ha ha. It is hard work isn't it - and I am stuck right in the midst of pre-school horror. :) I love the big blue egg-thing, very creative. I have many similar ones xxx

    1. Massive sympathies to you. It's all a bit rubbish isn't it? DD2 told me she had lots of drawings for me in her bag this morning #joy

  2. This made me laugh so much, & I love the big blue egg haha.
    Re pre school snacks my son (soon to be 14) still calls Bourbon biscuits 'nursery Laurel biscuits' .

    1. Bourbons I can cope with but when did pre-school get so cosmopolitan? My two had green tea and prawn crackers for Chinese New Year!!


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