Wednesday, 16 April 2014


Hasn't the weather been gorgeous this week?  Here, even in rainy Cheshire we've at least had a few hours of sunshine every day and this means that at the weekend we were able to do one of our favourite things, spend some time in the garden.

Sunday was perfect - warm sunshine, a gin and tonic in hand and the children running around on the lawn playing with a ball while we relaxed on our comfy reclining chairs - bliss!  That was until I noticed DH looking at me in an odd kind of way, head tilted and squinting slightly. "What are you looking at?" I asked.  "Well," he said "I'm looking at all your grey hair, there's lots".

He has a point to be honest, I'm turning grey and, unfortunately for me, it isn't happening as slowly as I thought it would.  As if the 39 years worth of wrinkles weren't bad enough, now I have this to contend with too.

What to do though?  I'm not an immensely vain person.  13 years of staying at home has put paid to that, although I still do like to put a bit of makeup on for the school run and make sure I'm presentable (for that read, not frightening small children). The obvious option would be to dye my hair, which frankly I'm a bit worried about doing.  What if I get the wrong colour, what happens when the roots start showing?  Won't it cost a lot?  What if it doesn't suit me or goes green like that girl I used to go to school with?  If I pay someone to dye it then that means I'm duty bound to visit the hairdresser every six weeks for the rest of my life.  That's just too bloody difficult.  I have never dyed my hair, I don't think I'm about to start now.

Why should I need to cover it up anyway?  A year ago I had just finished reading Caitlin Moran's How to be a Woman, and I announced to everyone that I would be following her lead and not worrying about my grey hair when it arrived.  Instead I would be distinguished, and just let it happen.  After all, as Caitlin herself pointed out, if men can do it then why not women too?  I liked that idea and I was going to be that women (apart from the fact that I can't be arsed to do the dying thing on account of the reasons I mentioned above).  Unfortunately, I noticed a few months later, a tweet from Moran herself, stating that she was off to get foils done at the hairdresser the following day.  Rather disappointingly she doesn't follow her own advice then.

I think my main problem is that I feel sad about the onset of the grey.  Sad because it represents an end to the glory years when I had my youth and fertility and the kind of get up and go that I just don't possess these days.  It shows that, at best, I've been rotting away at home for the past 13 years while everyone else I know seems to manage to look quite normal.  The twins are starting school in September and I'm already noticing that compared to the other parents whose offspring are about to embark on their reception journey, I look far older than most of them.  At this rate I'll end up being mistaken for my children's grandmother.

Still, I suppose its not all bad.  My hair now needs washing far less than it did when it wasn't grey, its a bit easier to style too.  My children (the younger ones at least) tell me that it is shiny and sparkles in the sun which I think sounds quite pretty (or maybe a bit too much like a My Little Pony, I haven't decided).  They don't seem to see what the greyness represents in terms of lost youth and opportunity.  They just see that Mummy's hair looks a bit different, and I can live with that.  On balance, sticking with the grey seems the better of the two options for now, at least.

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