Friday, 12 February 2016

Valentines Day For Parents - A Guide

It's Valentine's Day soon and you may be thinking, 'hold on a moment!  I don't have time for that - I'm a parent!'

And, largely, you'd be right.

I cannot remember the last time we properly celebrated Valentine's Day here, it just doesn't hold the same level of anticipation once you've had children.  But it is still important to at least try to make an effort, isn't it?

So here is my guide to Valentine's Day when you're a parent.

1.  The Baby Years

This could play out a few different ways.  a)  you'll be so sleep deprived you forget, b)  you'll be so busy with your baby that you forget, c)  if you don't forget and decide to go out for the evening the main topics of conversation will be how tired you are, the baby and lastly, "shouldn't we get back for the babysitter now, we've been gone ages?" (reality: about 45 minutes).  All this in between checking your phone obsessively for calls or texts from the babysitter (probably Granny and Grandpa, who don't even know how to text anyway and are more than likely fine).  You eventually get back home (a whole hour later) to find that the baby is sleeping and the Granny/Grandpa babysitters have made themselves at home with your chocolate stash and a nice BBC documentary.  You should have stayed out later, you idiots!  Also hidden your chocolate better too...

In terms of gifts, you don't really want them, you just want sleep.  Lovely, lovely sleep.  Uninterrupted.  This is unlikely to happen.  Sorry. #alwaysonduty

2.  The Pre-School Years

Less about you, more about what cute crafts you can find on Pinterest for your toddler to make for your other half.  You might consider baking too.  Either way Valentine's Day prep becomes sticky and/or messy, (no, no, no, not in that way *tuts*) but on the bright side, aside from the glitter and toddler tantrums you might at least get to eat some cake/biscuits probably before the end of the Cbeebies Bedtime Hour and before your husband gets home from work #sorrynotsorry.  If you don't eat them all then you might accidentally drop the entire, hand-made by your toddler, box of treats all over the floor through sheer sleep deprivation (yes, still).  Not that I have ever done this OK once, I did this once. #butterfingers

3.  The Wilderness Years

So called because your kids are too big to do cutesy crafts but too small not to need a babysitter, enabling you to finally go out for the night.  You could stay in.  Let's face it, children are expensive at the best of times and so the thought of shelling out cash at a premium rate for a sitter is enough to tip you over the edge.  But what do you do instead?  You've guessed it.  It's an M&S Valentine's meal deal for you (you will argue over the choice of starter/main/dessert because it really isn't the same as a proper restaurant where you get to choose your own meal, is it?).  If you are really lucky, your kids might not interrupt your "meal" until you've finished.  Happy Days. #notsharingthefreechocswithyougoaway

4.  The Teenage Years

It's not about you any more (was it ever?), it's about them.  The teenagers boyfriends/girlfriends are the ones who get the gifts and nights out, not you.  Finally, the house to yourself?  You might think that this is celebration enough in itself but you'd be wrong there too. Instead you get the pleasure to "lend" them the cash for whatever it is that they've got planned and if you're lucky you get to be taxi too.  This Valentine's is "on fleek" *.



5.  Once they've all left home

OK so I haven't actually experienced this yet.  I'm just day dreaming.  What will it be like I wonder?  Will we finally get that meal out?  Will I get to spend my cash on a present for my own husband instead of the teen's girl/boyfriends?  My head is dizzy with possibilities for what The Valentine's Days of the future could hold.  Alternatively, I could just be so busy catching up on all the lost sleep, marvelling at the glitter free floor and planning on eating something other than a supermarket ready meal that I won't have time?

Who says romance is dead?

*  This is what the kids say now.  About nearly everything.  That and Squad Goals.  Yes, I give up too...

4 comments:

  1. Brilliant post! Loving your use of on fleek and squad goals! Ha ha ha ha!! Really made me chuckle this morning

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    1. Thank you, glad I made you chuckle - you could say my funny is on fleek this morning ;) or something... xx

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  2. This made me chuckle....hehehe
    I am at the The Wilderness Years. My fella and I have today been arguing over the meal deals & at the start of the The Teenage Years...lol £7 I have spent on a card and a pressie for my eldest girls boyfriend. lol

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    1. Oh god! The meal deal rows - why do supermarkets make it so tricky eh? LOL at teen pressies though - I hope he appreciated it! ;)

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