Tuesday, 2 September 2014

Just Another Day

Today was just another day.

Just another day, but also the day that the twins started school for the first time.

We walked to school for the first time, went into the classroom for the first time, put their book bags in their drawer for the first time.  But it was just another day.

Other mothers were anxious.  They held back the tears.  I didn't.

I felt guilty.  Shouldn't I be feeling the same way?

My husband said "it's never the same as it is with the first one", and I think he's right (shh, don't tell him that ;)). He is.

With DS1 I had walked him in to school with a lump in my throat, choking back tears and promising myself that it would all be ok, that he would be ok.  It would be wouldn't it?

Well, sometimes it was and sometimes it wasn't.  I was upset for him when other children were mean to him.  I was happy for him when his teacher said nice things about him.  I was angry when the school didn't seem to understand us.  I learned to take the rough with the smooth.  School didn't feel such a big deal for either of us eventually.

This time?  Nothing.  They were happy.  I was happy.  It was relaxed.  We said our goodbyes and walked home.

Hindsight is a wonderful thing after all.  I knew they would both be ok.  Not only did they have each other and their big brother there, but I knew that whatever happened today, they would be ok.  I know they will still be ok tomorrow.  And the day after that.

If only I could only go back in time and tell my first time parent at the school gate self that.  But I can't. 

I can tell you, the other first time parents this.  Your child will be fine.  You may not, and that's ok.  Just take it in your stride.

Maybe by the time your second and third child are as school you will feel like me too.  And, you will smile and not be worried.  You will be looked upon as someone who has done this all before (as I was today - that was a bit weird and yet strangely flattering).

Because, it is just another day.



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