So I thought I'd share what's been going on in our house. You can laugh with/at me or cry with me in sympathy if you like. Hopefully someone will tell me that this is normal or invite me on an all expenses paid cruise for one for the next five and a half weeks. Well, a girl can dream, right? Ultimately I'm writing this now and diarising to re-read it in July 2015 so as to remind myself not to get too excited about the start of the summer holidays next year.
Expectation - Everyone will really enjoy not having to get up and dressed at the crack of dawn. They will embrace that rarest of things, the lie-in.
Reality - You might make it until 7.30 am if you are lucky but then cries of "what's for breakfast?" will permeate the air until you have to provide them with food in the hope that it might keep them all quiet. This will pretty much not stop all day. "Can we have a biscuit?" - check, "what's for lunch?" - check, "is there any ice cream?" - check, "what's for dinner?" - check. Then you wonder why it is only half past eleven and there is no food left in the house.
Expectation - Everyone will get on really well. There will be no fighting of any kind, because they are all a year older than last summer holidays and therefore more mature.
Reality - Hormones are raging with the oldest two at least. Harmony lasts until 9.30 am on day one after which the name calling, shouting and accusations start flying. An online game unites them all for half a day on day three, until somebody kills someone else with a pick axe in Minecraft, starting an argument so large that it results in them being banned from playing it for the entire holidays. You consider splitting up each little spat but then decide that letting them get on with it might be less trouble. Instead the house ends up the cleanest it's been for months because at least when you are dusting/vacuuming you can be spared the job of referee.
Expectation - No one will be bored ever. They will all find plenty of things to do to amuse themselves.
Reality - Unless you count being permanently attached to every bit of technology known to man, mostly none of your children will do much else all day. They will utter the word "bored" from the moment the school gate closes in July until it reopens in September. You consider taking them for a walk or a picnic somewhere, but then they all moan about where to go and apparently it's all boring anyway so you leave it. Technology can be enriching, can't it? At least if they aren't outside then you don't ever have to think about applying sun cream (life is far too short for that argument anyway).
Expectation - The holidays are never long enough. You always feel sad when they are over.
Reality - I've got to put up with another five and a half weeks of this crap? In the words of the pre-teen, kill me now.