That is all. I make them wear coats when it's cold outside. How very dare I? Shall I explain? Apparently no one between the ages of 12 and 18 wears a coat to school or indeed anywhere these days. Even in the rain. So, by insisting my children wear a coat I am instantly being uncool. "You'll catch your death" you might hear me say... And there she is. My mother when I was aged 13. There is also that other thing where they are wearing a hoodie, or whatever it is that is actually acceptable as outdoor wear, and then continue to wear it inside. "You won't feel the benefit of that when you go outside again, take it off" I think. There she is, again.
2. I talk in excited terms about music that is at least 20 years old.
Rather in the way my mum would enthuse about Cliff Richard or Status Quo, I find myself making my kids listen to music that I think is still great when it is a good 20 years since it appeared in the charts. "Ooh, Oasis/Blur/Shed Seven, they are good", except my children don't think so at all. To be honest, I can sympathise a bit here though, I never really did like the Quo. Sorry Mum.
Last week I wrote a whole post about ds1 and his cooking lessons at high school and how I was appalled by the lack of actual cooking going on and how everything came out of a packet. It was almost as if my mother had written it. Then ds1 told me how unimpressed the teachers had been with his home made flour tortillas (they were making fajitas, the point of which was to learn knife skills rather than an actual recipe as I had assumed). So the following week I sent him in with the correct ready made ingredients. You know what? It was much easier after all. Ds1 was just like everyone else in his class - not the one with the knit-your-own-yoghurt mother who usually sends in weird ingredients. He still didn't learn much though. This reminded me of the time my mother rewrote an entire recipe for my GCSE Catering lesson. Her way was of course right. The teacher was wrong.
4. I won't put up the Christmas tree until a week before Christmas.
Bah Humbug! Yes that's me, Mrs Scrooge. I cannot surely be the only person who puts up their Christmas tree only a week before Christmas? That's the way my mother did it and that's what I do now too. After all, the needle sweeping really must get to you after four weeks or more, mustn't it? No, I am uncool and not fun - I can now hear my 13 year old self yelling this at me, no wait, that's my actual 13 year old. Yep, you guessed it, I have become my mother circa 1987 again.
So, you might be asking, what actually makes a cool parent then? Well, as ds1 said just last week, Matt in his class's dad is cool, really cool. What does Matt's dad do to make himself cool I hear you ask? Apparently cool equals taking the day off work to buy and set up a PS4 for your son. Yep, that's it, buying expensive gadgets for your child is cool. This is nothing like me, again aged 13, wishing that my parents would buy a tv with a remote control or pleading with them to buy a computer that came with its own monitor and played all the latest games. I'm drawing some comfort from the fact that while I'm just like my mother was when I grew up, so my children are like the 13 year old me, and one day this of course means that they will be the uncool parents. Maybe that also means they will be just a little bit proud to be like 39 year old me too.